Sandwiched between a Wonderbra and a Knitted Orgasm ...
... is where my poem "Since I Have Had Children" has found its home. I'm chuffed to bits to be included in this anthology - The Iron Book of New Humorous Verse edited by Eileen Jones. I keep dipping into it when I should be doing other things (like writing more poems) and every time I do I think "Oh yes, that's the bit I'll quote in my blog ... or maybe that bit ... or ..."
So instead of simply transcribing the entire book, I'm going to just choose two with the old poke a pin at it technique - NOT MY FAVOURITES - I DON'T DO FAVOURITES - THEY'RE ALL A HOOT! - in the hopes of enticing you in for yourself.
Fluffy Weighs in on the Baby by Melissa Balmain
It's hairless as an egg:
Why bother petting that?
It doesn't purr or groom your leg,
And yet you feed the brat.
Instead of catching mice,
It grapples with its socks.
It's never taken my advice
To use the litter box.
It can't climb up a tree,
It can't chase balls of string,
It leaves you zero time for me -
Just eat the wretched thing.
and Sung Dynasty by Sean O'Brien
My lover tells me that when autumn comes
He will fashion me a boat of cherry blossom:
There's no way I'm getting into that.